I still holding your picture close to me as I hug my pillow. Trying to sleep again and pretend that you're with me. You are still in my dream world. I'm trying my very hardest to keep busy as I can just to keep you off my mind just for a little while. To give me a little reprieve of what just happened.
I still remember it was friday night. I fell in love with you the first time we spoke. When I first heard your voice through the phone, it is soothing, it was a voice from heavens, full of smiles and laughter. That night I said to myself -- I am falling in love with a woman that I haven't met yet, but that was not my fear. My fear was falling in love with you and I cannot withstand my feeling.
As time passed by I had a chance to meet you. That day came to me. My dream came true. Finally I saw you. I was so nervous, shaking, happy and yet shy. Just like a little boy in a toy store I had you in my arms. When I first taste your lips and touch your soft skin it was so intoxicating. I knew it then that I was in trouble, because I would always want you forever.
Our first night was unforgettable for having your body on top of mine. I was in heaven and told God if he took me that night it would be fine because I was already in peace. For all the hours that turned to days, the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned into months. I was so in love with you and only you, Lucy. To touch your skin, to kiss your lips, to smell your scent and to feel you in me is and always be like dream turned into a reality, for I have had you, a woman that is truly full of love. My love for you become so deeper, so deep and not noticing that I'm starting to lose you.
One day I woke up without you in my arms. You leave me without a word. What went wrong? I feel so broken. Am I not good enough? Please tell me why you leave me. I go on with my life now and pretending that it's all okay, when really deep inside I'm going insane. Missing you is eating me alive and without you I can't survive. I even woke up and found myself thinking about you and how happy we used to be, trying to hide the tears. I just move on with my day even though it's killing me.
Now that I have awoken from my dreams. I now live in my nightmare of not having you. You were my butterfly. You are soft to the touch. I will set you free from my arms and wishing that you will return again in my dreams to awaken me from my nightmare of losing you.
