Saturday, November 3, 2012

Why?

12 comments
Why do people gives us promises
Only to let us down in the end,
Why do people give us their love
And leave us a broken heart to mend.

Why do the stars still shine at night
If wishes still doesn't come true,
Why does my heart still beating,
If its no longer good enough for you.

Why does my face still wear a smile
When all I wanted to do is to cry,
Why am I still living in this world
If we're only here, waiting to die.

Why do memories still in my mind
If it doesn't gonna turn back time,
Why does my heart choose to love you
If you're no longer meant to be mine.

Why do I still see you in my dreams
If in reality you're no longer with me,
Why did we meet in the first place
If we are never meant to be,

Although I don't have all the answers
There's one thing I'll always know,
That no matter what life sends my way
You're the reasons why I cant let go!



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Friday, November 2, 2012

A Better Me

1 comments
A Better Me
Inside me
I can see
It is you
I know
You know
Among few
I need you
You can read
My heart
Tore apart
I gave up
You saved
Inside you
I really knew
At your side
I can't hide
My fears
The tears
All things
I can't bear
I love you
Yes, I do
Your face
Your hair
Your care
From miles
At my side
I feel safe
From me
Love is pain
But you helped
To find me
Inside of me
With you
I can see
A better me..


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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Just Another Love Letter

4 comments
I wish I could turn back time and reverse it
Since first time I saw your beautiful face
I have been in love with you,
It is foolish to think that
Loving you was just a suffer
Don't you know that?
You always be a part of my life
Don't you ever believe that,
You will be forgotten
My hope is that one day,
You would care about me even just a little
And I refuse to believe that
You and I were never made for each other.

(read it from the last line to the first line)



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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Ang Alamat ng Bigote

0 comments
Fan 1: Kumusta ang love life ni John Pratts?
Fan 2: Ayun, Bigo teh!

At doon nagsimula ang alamat ng Bigote.


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Sunday, October 7, 2012

Dear Suicidal

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Dear Suicidal,

All you have to do is to trust me. I will never let you down, I promise. I will always be here when no one else is around. I will stand for you when everyone else trying you to change. I would never ask you to do that, I swear.

I will be here for you through thick and thin, and will never leave you behind. When you don't know what else to do I'll be your best friend to guide you. I will help you to see the way life it should be when you think your life is done.

I will call your name wherever you are and whenever you are all alone. I will show you that you're still alive when you think your heart is as cold as stone. You can hide from me but you will always know how I make you feel okay even if no one else may know. I know you are afraid but you will be safe here. You just have to believe in me.

I will always be there when you need me. When life seems bringing you down and you're the only one to blame. When you already try everything just to get away but nothing happen and you have nothing left to say. When life do this over and over I'll be there for you and you will find your way to me even if you don't want to.

It feels like everyday starts to stay the same and it's dragging you down and you can't seem to pull away. So many thoughts that you can't get out of your head. You are trying to live without me every time and you'll rather be dead but one thing you should know -- you can't once again make things how they were before.

You'll forever be known as a suicidal.

Sincerely, Your Razor Blade.



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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Facebook

1 comments
Ilang status pa ba ang i-li-like ko o giliw ko?
Tatlong buwan na akong nakasubscribe sa 'yo
Di mo man lang napapansin ang friend request ko..


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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Oh My Dying World!

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Damage has been taken

Damage has been done

Demons were dancing

The horizon turns red

Screaming breeze,

Oh my dying world!

It fall with ease.

The crimson sun,

And the scarlet stars

The only one

Left with scars.

I watch the sun

I watch it rise

This is my world

This world of lies

I wonder what,

What tomorrow brings

The rain of blood

The blood of kings

The end is near

The end of fear.

True love will come

But not just for some

It's for everyone,

To save the world

Love will given

Love is strong

The world must awaited

Gold horizon

Your beauty I saw

Oh my loving world!

I live in awe.


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Saturday, September 29, 2012

One Picture

2 comments
We're all come from different places,
We're all come in different sizes,
We're all come in different colors,
We're all have different attributes,

Yet we somehow fit into one picture.

We all have different desires,
We all have different dreams,
We all have different inspirations,
We all have different aspirations,

Yet we all develop into one picture.

We are all created by one creator,
We are all created for one another,
We are all created as one people,
We are all created for one purpose,

And we all made up by one big picture.


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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Advice

1 comments
May humingi sakin ng advice, isang babae, kung sasagutin daw ba niya ang manliligaw niya.?

Ang manliligaw nyang yun ay:

- tumawag sakanya paulit-ulit para kunin ang cellphone number nya.

- isang oras nyang tinitigan ang botelya ng juice dahil nakasulat dun ay "concentrated"

- sinubukan nyang lunurin ang tilapya.

- nakulong daw sya sa grocery store ngunit kinabukasan ay lumabas siyang gutom.

- may katabing ruler sa gabi para sukatin kung gaano kahaba ang tulog nya.

- at huli, nagreklamo sya sa pulisya dahil nabunggo daw sya ng naka-parking na kotse.

Sasagutin daw ba nya ang manliligaw nya?


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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Tuyong Tinta ng Bolpen: "Hu U?"

4 comments
Kung mahilig ka sa mga kwentong harot at mahilig kang magbasa ng mga kwento sa internet habang nagpepetiks, paniguradong magugustuhan mo ito. "Hu U?" isang teenage fiction na isinulat ng paborito kong writer/blogger na si Panjo ng tuyong tinta ng bolpen. Hindi lang ito basta tipikal na kwento ng pag-ibig na karaniwan mong nababasa sa mga pocket book na palaging hawak ng kapatid mong babae. Ito'y isang kwento na pag naumpisahan mong basahin ay siguradong susundan mo ang takbo ng kwento gaya ng pag-aabang mo ng kasunod na mangyayari sa paborito mong teleserye na pinapanood nyo ng nanay mo tuwing gabi.

Kwento ito ni Loi, isang binata, college graduate at single. Nag-umpisa ang istoryang ito nang magulat si Loi sa pag sigaw ng isang dalaga sa mall, kaya sa pagtataka nito sinundan niya ito hanggang pumasok ito sa isang bookstore. Si Jane, siya yung sumigaw sa mall - maganda, mabait at problemado sa lovelife. Biglang naging malapit ang loob ng dalawa sa isa't-isa sa iksi ng panahon nilang nagkakilala. At dahil sa problema ni Jane napagsunduan nilang magpanggap na mag-boyfriend/girlfriend para pagselosin si Dexter, ang ex-boyfriend ni Jane na pinagpalit siya sa ibang babae, at di naman ito tinanggihan ni Loi. Pinakilala ni Loi si Jane sa kanyang mga magulang at ganun din si Jane na pinakilala naman si Loi sa kanyang ama na sundalo. Hanggang sa isang araw dumating itong si Sofia, ang dating crush ni Loi na nalaman din yang may crush din pala sa kanya. Nag-uumpisa ng mahulog ang loob ni Loi kay Jane pero sa kabilang banda ay gusto din niya si Sofia. Dito na nag-umpisang umikot ang buhay ni Loi sa dalawang babae. Kaya kung gusto nyo malaman ang kasunod ng istorya basahin, saksihan, tumawa at ma-in love sa kwentong pag-ibig na nag-umpisa sa 'Hu u?'.

Bago ang lahat i-like muna ang tuyong tinta ng bolpen sa facebook. At bumisita sa tuyong tinta ng bolpen blog para sa iba pang mga kwento.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Eksina Sa Walang Hanggan

1 comments
DANIEL: "Pero Lola mahal ko si Katirina!"

LOLA HENYA: "Mahal?"

DANIEL: "Opo mahal.."

*sinampal ni Lola Henya si Daniel*

DANIEL: "Bakit nyo po ako sinampal, Lola?"

LOLA HENYA: "Dahil sa RITE-MED bawal ang mahal!"





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Pulubi

3 comments
Tinanong ko yung namamalimos kung anong mararamdaman nya pag binigyan ko siya ng isang libong cash.

Sagot nya, 'mamamatay' daw sya sa tuwa.

Tangina, diko binigyan.



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Saturday, September 15, 2012

Wet Pussy

0 comments
Once upon a time, there was a cat who spent her hours sitting near the river. Near the river from North stands a sausage factory. The cat always waited for pieces of sausage thrown, in order to satisfy her breakfast.

One time, a small sausage was floating in the river. The cat got a stick to reach the sausage, she got it without her body getting wet. Second time, a bigger sausage floated, she ha

d a harder time reaching it with the stick, and this time, her two paws and her face got wet.

Next morning, a HUGE sausage was coming. She must be ready to catch this. Because it was a big sausage, she swam in the water, got the sausage with all her body full of water.

Lesson: the "bigger" the sausage, the wetter the "pussy".





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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Save You

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With worried eyes I sit by your side
You made this place for you to hide,
Where you sit sighing with words unspoken
Alone, lost, sad and slightly broken.

He have put you in this state of mind
Driving you away in a safe place to find,
I can see the tears falling from your eyes
He hurt you again with his word of lies.

You've completely lost yourself, let go!
You are still so sweet my friend, I know
Now tell me please what can I do?
Because I will do anything just to save you.



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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Pain and Rain

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Dew starts pouring

Through window pane

But it's okay
I love the rain.
I'll stand outside
Let tears wash away
Sadness be gone.
Razor wind shreds
To my plaid skin
But I don't care
I only grin.
And now I see
I am as bloody
On the outside,
As I am within.
Dancing with rain,
Dancing with pain
Down here from hill
Scorching the grass
Can never be still
Liquid crystals fall
Only can be seen
Falling to the earth
And gathering red.
Red is now all over,
And white becomes dirty
As dirty as me.


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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Mefenamic: Ang Kwento Ng Pain-ibig [Chapter II]

1 comments


Maluha-luha ang aking mga mata na siyang asset ko pa naman sabi ng aking inay na sinang ayunan ko naman. Ang sakit ng bagang ko nasagi ito nung pagkurot ni Jane sa medyo namamaga kong pisngi.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" tanong ni Jane na bakas sa mukha ang pagkagulat sa pagsigaw ko.

"Me-hyo" sagot ko habang nakapilipit yung dila ko sa ipin na kumikirot.
"Hala! Sorry, sumasakit ba ipin mo?"
"Kaninang umaga pa ito kumikirot"

Aayain ko na sana ang sarili ko na pumunta sa clinic para makahingi ng gamot at para narin makatakas sa mata ng mga estudyante na kanina pa nakatingin sa amin nang biglang may inabot sa akin si Jane.

"Mefenamic?"

"Gamot sa kumikirot na ipin."

Tumayo si Jane sa kinauupuan niya at pumunta sa drinking fountain para kumuha ng tubig na maiinom. Ang babaeng kanina na nag-eemo at nagbigay saken ng pag-aalala ay siya namang nag-aalala saken ngayon. Si Jane yung tipo na pag may nangyari sa akin ay agad na nagpapanic sa pag-aalala, daig pa niya ang nanay ko na gusto ako paliguan ng mosquito repellant para hindi ako madapuan ng lamok.

Nakilala ko si Jane nung naging magkaklase kami sa Community Service class nung first year pa lang kami. Nagsimula lang kami maging close nung minsan ay iniligtas ko siya sa isang aso na nag-aamok at nanghahabol ng kagat sa isang barangay na pinuntahan namin. Naging instant hero niya ako nung araw na yun at sa mga oras din yun nalaman kong torpe ako. Humanga ako sa isang babae na kakilala ko pa lang at para mapalapit sa kanya kinaibigan ko siya. Naging matalik ko siyang kaibigan. Hanggang sa nakasanayan na niyang tumakbo sa akin kahit wala ng humahabol sa kanyang aso.

Ako ang nilalapitan niya pag may problema siya at nagpapalitan din kami ng mga dirty-little-secrets sa isa't isa di nagtagal ay mas lalong nagkalapit ang loob naming dalawa. Konting level nalang para dun sa pinapangarap kong maging kami. Pero may isang malaking harang ng katorpehan ang pumipigil saken, na kahit sumakay ako sa likod ni yoshi kasama si super mario ay di ko parin kayang talunan ito at lampasan. Kaya doon nalang ako sa stage na kung saan ay hanggang mag bestfriend nalang kami.
"Inumin mo na yan. Ito tubig oh."

Inabot saken ni Jane yung tubig at ininom ko na yung gamot na ibinigay niya. Tiningnan niya ako na may bahid ng pag-aalala sa pagsakit ng ipin ko. Nginitian ko siya.

"Super epekteb yung gamot ah.. Nawala agad yung kirot ng ipin na nararamdaman ko." Sabi ko sa kanya para pawiin yung pag-aalala niya.

"Sigurado ka? Gusto mo samahan kita mamaya sa dentista?"

"Naku wag na. Ayoko sa dentista."

"Takot ka lang bunutan ng ipin e." pang aasar ni Jane.

"Ako takot? Hindi kaya." depensa ko sa sarili. Hindi naman talaga ako takot sa dentista o magpabunot ng ngipin, ayaw ko lang talaga na nadadapuan ang gums ko ng karayum. Hindi talaga ako takot. I swear.

"Simpleng sakit ng ipin lang 'to, maya-maya ay mawawala din ito."

Tumunog na yung school bell nagpapahiwatig na 11:00am na. Oras na para pumasok sa last subject ngayong umaga. Ihahatid ko muna si Jane sa classroom niya bago ako aakyat dun sa susunod kong klase. Ramdam ko parin ang konting kirot ng ipin ko pero naglaho ito ng nginitian ako ni Jane.

"Dito nalang ako. Hanggang bukas ulit. Ingat ka. Paalam, Renz."

"Sige, text-text nalang. Good luck, Jane. Ingat"

ITUTULOY...
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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

If I Fall

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I love her but she doesn't know,
I don't know how to let her go.
She seemed so happy there with me,
But I guess that we'll never be.

I wish I had the chance to say,
That I think of her everyday.
Every night I lay down to sleep
When I wake up I feel so weak.

The memories just fill my head
All the words that left unsaid.
The nights where we would lay together,
I wish that they could last forever.

Slowly moving, I feel her touch
Thinking, I love her that much.
Knowing it would scare her away,
That's why I just couldn't say.

I don't know how to say it now,
Can I? Where? When? How? 
I hate being the first to go,
But I just have to let her know.

I'm risking my heart, my soul
Being with her is my only goal.
So here I go, give it my all
Yet, who's going to catch me if I fall?



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Monday, September 3, 2012

Mefenamic: Ang Kwento Ng Pain-ibig [Chapter I]

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“Handa mo bang ipusta ang inyong pagkakaibigan para sa tsansang maging kayo?”


"Beeeeeeeest!" Sigaw ko habang mabilis na inangat ang aking katawan at umupo sa kama ko. Daig ko pa ang hinabol ng aso ni Mang Usting sa bilis ng hingal ko at gabutil na pawis sa noo ko. Panaginip lang pala. Napakamot nalang ako sa ulo at pilit inaalala kung ano yung nangyari sa panaginip ko. Best? Sinong best? Si Jane ba? Bigla akong naguluhan 'sing gulo ng buhok ko. Bestfriend ko si Jane pero hindi best ang tawag ko sa kanya. Wala din akong kilalang best ang pangalan. Malabong si Beast Machine (tawag ko sa professor ko sa Safety Management na parang beast machine transformer dahil biglang nagtatransform) yung nasa panaginip ko, beast yun hindi best.

Tumingin ako sa orasan 6:14am pa pala masyado pang maaga para sa klase ko mamayang 8:30am sa humanities. Babalik na sana ako sa pag higa ng aaaargh! biglang sumakit ang ipin ko. Naghanap ako ng gamot pero wala na palang laman ang medicine cabinet namin kaya bumaba nalang ako sa kusina at nagmumog nalang ng tubig na may konting asin. Naibsan ng konti ang kirot na nararamdaman ko. Imbes na bumalik sa kwarto ay dumiritso nalang ako sa banyo para maligo para makalimutan ko ang kumikirot kong ipin.


CHAPTER I:

"Oh ang aga mo ata ngayon?" tanong ni Inay habang nagluluto ng aming agahan.

"Sumakit kasi bigla ang ipin ko kanina. Hindi na ako makabalik ng tulog kaya naligo nalang ako." sagot ko habang pinupunasan ko ng tuwalya ang basa kong buhok. Hindi ko narin nararamdaman na kumikirot ang ipin ko.

"Kaya pala narinig kitang sumisigaw kanina akala ko kung ano na nangyari sayo." Bigla ko nalang naalala yung pagsigaw ko kanina at inisip ko din kung tungkol saan yung panaginip ko. Sumagi bigla sa isip ko si Jane. Kamusta na kaya ang bestfriend kong yun? Mag-iisang linggo na pala mula nung breakup nila ni Paulo. Malamang mag-eemo na naman yun mamaya.

"Bumili ka ng gamot mamaya pag uwi mo baka kasi sumakit na naman yang ipin mo saka wala na din tayong gamot dun sa medicine cabinet natin" pagputol ni inay sa malalim kong pag-iisip.

"Opo Nay."


*****

Pagkatapos ng klase ko sa dalawang subject ay agad akong dumiretso sa school canteen hindi para lumamon kundi para puntahan si Jane. Nakasanayan ko nang puntahan siya dun matapos ng klase. Doon kasi siya tumatambay at naghihintay para sa next subject niya saka malapit din kasi ang classroom niya dun.

Tanaw ko na siya sa malayo kaharap ang isang balot ng chippy at bote ng c2. Tama ang hinala ko nag-eemo na naman siya. Mahihiya ang buhok ni Hayley Williams sa paside view na hawi ng buhok niya ngayon. Pero maganda parin siya titigan sa malayo. Namiss ko tuloy yung pag ponytail niya sa kanyang buhok na mas lalong nagpapaganda sa bilugan niyang mukha. Nalulungkot akong isipin na nagkakaganyan siya ngayon dahil dun sa ex niyang si Paulo. Di ko maiitatangging may parte saken na masaya dahil wala na sila pero nasasaktan pa din ako pagnakikita ko siyang nalulungkot. Oo, matagal ko ng gusto si Jane kaso hindi ko masabi sa kanya. May chance na sana ako noon pero ng sasabihin ko na sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko ay inunahan naman ako ng espirito ng kaba hanggang sa naunahan ako ni Paulo at naging sila na. Tinanggap ko nalang ang masaklap na katutuhanan na hanggang mag bestfriend lang talaga kami. Hanggang ngayon. Ayoko ding mag take advantage dahil wala na sila Paulo. At higit sa lahat ayokong mawala ang tiwala niya saken dahil bestfriend niya ako. Bestfriend lang.

"Nakakamatay ang sobrang kalungkutan. Chronic depression ika nga. Kaya wag kang masyadong emo diyan." pambungad ko sa kanya at umupo sa tabi niya.

"Maiksi lang ang buhay kaya enjoyin nalang natin. Cheers!" pabiro kong sabi at itinaas yung bote ng c2 na nasa harapan niya.

"Baliw ka talaga" sabi niya at ngumiti siya ng bahagya.

"Wag ka na kasing malungkot diyan." sabi ko sabay hawi ng kanyang buhok na tinatabunan na ang kanyang maamong mukha.

"Hindi naman ako malungkot ah."

"Hindi daw oh." tiningnan ko siya ng diretso. Ngumiti siya pero bakas padin sa kanyang mga mata ang kalungkutan na dulot ng nangyari. Di ko siya masisisi sa kung anong nararamdaman niyang sakit ngayon, mahigit isang taon din kasi ang itinagal ng relasyon nila ni Paulo bago siya iwanan nito sa rason na hindi na daw siya masaya sa piling niya. Saklap. Kung anong sakit sa kanya ay ganun din ang sakit na nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang naluluha na ang mga mata pero pilit paring tumatawa. Pero parang ayaw na ding maglabas ng sama ng loob ni Jane ngayon bukod sa ayaw niyang maraming makakita sa kanya na umiiyak ay nabuhos na niya nung isang araw pa lahat saken ang hinanakit niya sa hiwalayan nila.

"Isipin mo nalang na may mga tao talagang pinagtagpo ng tadhana... to tear them apart. hehe" biro ko.

"Ha-ha-ha. Loko ka talaga, Renz" sabi niya habang tumawa.

"Napatawa na din kita. Lalo kang gumaganda pag ganyan.hehe"

"Gumaganda ka diyan. Bestfriend mo lang kasi ako kaya mo yan sinasabi"

"Oo, bestfriend kita kaya nagsasabi ako ng totoo."

"Sige na nga. Maraming salamat ha, kasi lagi kang andyan sa tabi ko pag may problema ako at pinapatawa" ngumiti siya saken this time yung genuine na ngiti na talaga.

"Kasama sa job description ko ng pagiging bestfriend ang pangitiin ka, makinig sa mga hinaing mo, at iyakan mo sa tuwing may problema ka" sabi ko sabay kurap ng mata.

"Nagpapacute ka na naman." hinawakan nya ang pisngi ko at kinurot.

"Aaaaaaah! aray!" napasigaw ako ng malakas at nagtinginan ang mga kapwa namin estudyante sa paligid.



ITUTULOY...


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Friday, August 24, 2012

I Want To Live On An Island

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I want to live on an island,
Where every day is the same.
A place where no one chases riches,
No one stabs your back to gain fame.
***
I want to live on an island,
Where breakfast grows on a tree,
Where white beaches go on forever
And soak up the foam from the sea.
***
I want to live on an island,
A place where nobody owns a clock,
Where time is told by God's own sun,
And boats all tie up at the dock.
***
I want to live on an island,
Where my mind can be totally free
To reflect upon the blessings I have
By having you as a friend to me.



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Sunday, August 12, 2012

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPain

0 comments
As she walked away,
Bearing no love for me,
Can't take this pain
Does life have no meaning for me?
Every time we were together,
For each moment of my life
Good things never fell.
Hate is something I could never do,
I love you far to much.
Just please, this I only ask,
Keep loving me back!
Love is a confusing thing, we know
Many people fear it.
No matter what the cost,
Or the price I must pay,
Please, I beg you, don't walk away.
Quietly you turned to me,
Reading the emotion of my face,
Smiling that sincere of yours.
Taking two step forward
Utter the words that crushed my life,
"Veer your heart away from me.
Walk on your own. I do not love you."
Xylophones played sad tune as she left.
Yes, she walked away that gloomy night.
Zero is the amount of happiness I feel right now.



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Lack of Inspiration

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My inspiration has dried up, lost, gone away
I can no longer write, the things I can't say
I sit and lay things out, but it doesn't work that way
So I've given up again, or maybe just for today.

All imaginations are gone, lost without any trace
And now my poetry is nothing, but a disgrace
Though my body's moving, but my mind can't keep pace
So I sit here now, stony look upon my face.

What I'm gonna do, all my thoughts have run?
And Ideas won't come out, not even one
The thought won't rose up, like the morning sun
So I'll write about having no ideas, just for fun.



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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Apparition

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You're a specter,
A delusion provoked by the moon.
Its animate rays deceived me
With their illustration in night's gloom;
The lines formed the figure of a woman,
But just as I afraid,
When I tried to touch your face,
The shadow that shaped it disappeared,
When I tried to hold your hand,
I hold nothing but cold air;
I dodged and closed my eyes,
To open them I would not dare.
It was as if I was blind,
Reaching out within darkness of night,
It was as if I was crazed,
Dazed by the moon's shimmering light.

You're a specter.
An apparition painted by the moon's rays.
Your flawless features have haunted me
Throughout many nights,
Along with the pain within me
And its bittersweet taste
That you left in my mouth
When your lips faded away with haste
Before I could press my own against them,
Before I could even try.
The wind banished you quickly,
I didn't even get to kiss goodbye.

You're a specter.
A mirage.
The ruthless moon deceived me.
Its silver rays intertwined
The figure of a soul that eliminate.
Your eyes and the look within them,
Your appearance and its expression,
They were all nothing,
But a self induced hallucination.


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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Lost In The Music

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I'm trying to write our own love story, but the words seem to be disappearing tonight. It's not their fault, when they get lost in the music. I've been lost in the music before too -- the music of your love. But it got too loud and I'm losing my tempo then I realized that this is not my music anymore.
I hear the whole notes, the half notes. the eight notes and the sixteenth notes. Then I hear the bass pounding directly within my heart and then the high sopranos and middle altos. They mix together to make a tune that I hear inside my head. It's tickling my senses and I feel it in my heart. Maybe that's what they called love.

And now, I've lost that love and said goodbye to the reasons we had in the first place, when empathy was on our sides. And somewhere, I got lost in the past where you are.

So tonight I wrote a new story to be last on my heart. I'm taking back sunday. That day -- when writing a word was easy; I could taste your lips and I could draw you near through my pen. Everything I thought just made more sense. In this dreary night I wrote on my heart.

"Dear heart,
I'm so sorry if you're always got hurt --
What could I do? I'm still in love."


You should have heard my heart's displeasure. What am I to do when I keep falling in love? It's a trick of the heart, not the mind. I had no control. I'm totally lost. My eyes are burning and my throat's getting scratchy, just listening to the music of memories in my head.
The whole world is laughing. I'm starting to get bitter at how it laughs everytime I try to make a new statement of myself. Bitter with all the thoughts that made it as a right to laugh with all the mistakes that I've made. Bitter that I had forgotten I couldn't write music, only words. I was lost in your art -- music, not mine. And I'd forgotten what my art is all about; the pen, the ink, the paper and my mind. 




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Minutes Before Dawn

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In darkest silence, away from prying eyes
A mystical alluring beauty behind shadow lies.
20 Minutes -- the sun now rises from dead,
Its glimmer warp around your head. 
***
Your weary eyes see through morning mist,
But have no chance to overcome her evil twist.
16 Minutes -- too late to hide now, far too late,
As her web clench you and your awful fate.
***
She threatens you as she can sense your fear,
Of letting her have the way in you, so near.
8 Minutes -- try to breathe as you can,
Despite her venom is deadly in the world of man.
***
Her dark beauty seems to be torn from heaven skies,
But it's just deceiving veil to cover what inside lies.
Last minute -- should take this time to say goodbye,
You cannot escape the reaping of death so don't try.
***
Don't struggle for she constricts her web even more,
And stops until no sign of life is left inside your core.
In darkest silence, away from prying eyes,
A mystical alluring beauty behind shadow lies.


image credits to The Apparition movie
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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

A Thousand Ways

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A thousand ways, to say she was on my mind
A thousand thoughts, I thought for her
A thousand times, I called out her name
A thousand moments, to remember her laughter
A thousand pictures, of her beautiful smile
A thousand sounds, of her sweet voice
A thousand feelings, I feel for her
A thousand hugs, were meant for her
A thousand wishes, I wished to be with her
And a thousand is not enough,
To show how much I love her.



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Saturday, July 21, 2012

I'm Here For You

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I'll always be here
No matter what
Don't let go
Things will be alright
Don't hold back
I'm here for you
Take my hand
I will hold you through
I need you
Just like you need me too
If you start to be scare
I scare too
Because it kills me to know
The pain you going through
It might be stormy now
But it can't be rain forever
I have faith in you
I know you can hold on
Take some of my strength
Before yours will gone
I will dry your tears
Hold you tight
I can't promise
To make you laugh
But I will try
To help you smile

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

If You're Reading This

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If you're reading this
I want you to know,
Even after all this time
I haven't let go of you.

You are still I think of
Whenever I'm all alone
I still hope you'll text me
As I stare at my phone.

If you're reading this
Maybe then you will see
That even after all this time
You are everything to me.

And I'm trying so hard
To not become feel sad
When I start to think about
What we could have had

If you're reading this
Maybe you will understand
How much it hurts to me
To see you hold his hand.

But you won't know I'm sad
You won't know I want to die
Because I'm still wear this smile
Even times when I want to cry.

And if you're reading this
I hope that you will see
That I'm still in love with you
Even it's slowly killing me.


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Monday, July 16, 2012

Writer's Block

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What to do? What to write?
Really don't know, been up all night.
I just can't think, I really don't know
The pen says write, my mind says no.
Everytime I write, things seems so wrong
Rewrite, think again, I'll go down strong.
So confused, my words are stuck
But there's no solution, just my luck.
Looking around for some inspiration
On the sorrounding, beautiful creation.
Cause right now to inspire is all I need,
Know what to write and to succeed!


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Friday, July 13, 2012

Joyce

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Joys and laughters you have given me
Over my tears, your single smile pleased me
Yes you are one of a kind, friend to admire
Cares from you I always desire
Even though you're to much to aspire.


to my bestfriend :)
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Lonely Heart

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Lasting love were burning in flame,
Only some breathes here to remain.
Nobody understand this kind of pain
Every tear is like a heavy rain.
Loneliness keeps hurting me again
Your past memories stays the same
Happiness is walking away out of my life.
Emotions hurt inside like a sharp knife
All nights are cold and freezing
Remaining part of our story is hiding
This voice of lonely heart is shouting.



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Thursday, July 12, 2012

What If?

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What if I kiss you now,
How would you react?
Would you push me away,
Or kiss me back?
What if I say I need you,
How would you feel?
Would you appreciate my love,
Or just think I'm not for real.
What if I give you a box,
And inside was a key,
My heart is locked,
Would you open it for me?
What if I told you,
I could show you thing?
I mean things you've never seen,
Things the world can't offer,
Or only exist in your dreams.
What if I tell you we should be together,
What would you do?
Reject me or say I do?


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Monday, July 9, 2012

Unspoken Words

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You tore me to pieces again and again
Caused me injuries that left no mark,
Made me shed those shameful tears,
And yet I returned to you over and over.
Tried to fix our shattered relationship.
Blaming myself, thought I was failing you,
That I wasn't that good enough,
And I was the reason we kept falling apart.

Again I tried to glue us back together,
You welcomed me and my promises to change,
Yet you've never made an effort,
You've never said your own sorries.
You were the one that needed to change,
You left me with this kind of burden,
To carry a weight that was not my own.

All I wanted was you, to love me as I am
To stop beating me down and under,
To be there as you should be,
But you won't, because to you I'm wrong,
And to be in your life I have to change.
To fit your desires and loose the other parts of me.
I've been through hell because of you,
I couldn't see any chance to survive.
I didn't believe I should survive.
I thought this pain was All I deserved
Because somehow I failed you.

To me you used to be my everything
Thankfully I see it now,
How truly foolish I was.
I know there will be some moments,
When I'll miss you in my life,
But you have made your choice,
It wasn't me and I have made mine,
No more tears for you.
You don't get to ruin my second chance.
I was lucky enough to come through that.

I'm here if you want to try to fix us,
To make amends for your mistakes.
If you truly want to make an effort,
And change your opinions on perfection
To which I'm glad I do not meet.
But don't expect an open arms,
I already lose my privilege to become your son.
I'm not that child anymore,
Shinny toys will not win my favour.
You'll have to go on substance
Good luck with that my dear Mama.



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Sunday, July 8, 2012

Did She Cry Last Night?

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Sadness,
Did she cry last night?
Sorrow,
The painful story that she writes.
Misery,
Did she cry last night?
Hating,
She's living a secret life.
Depression,
Did she cry last night?
Emotional,
Her hidden scars of pain.
Hurting,
Did she cry last night?
Weary,
Imbalance in her mind.
Despising,
Did she cry last night?
Hatred,
The tears she cries last night.



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Friday, July 6, 2012

Talking To Self

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Open your eyes wide,
The truth is plain to see
You don't deserve the pain,
And I know you agree
It kills you slowly, see?
You're already rotting away,
And become dust on the wind
You're talking to yourself
Crazy and disturbed?
Or maybe you're normal
No, that's so absurd.
This poem is stupid,
And so are you
Yes, I do mean me
But, I guess, you already knew.
Voices shouted in your head,
Maybe it is your only friend
Stop talking to yourself, damnit!
Or atleast you can pretend.


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Bridge On Broken Dreams

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Broken dreams of what I had planned,
-- Now burried six feet under the sand.
Broken dreams of what I've once knew,
-- Love and happiness with me and you.
Broken dreams now that I'm alone at last,
-- For time has lingered and forever past.
Broken dreams never to be found,
--Hiding in my mind safe and sound.
Broken dreams held captured in a cage,
-- Freedom is I all need so I build a bridge.



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Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Evil Intentions

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I came over the desolated land,
As I hold my anger within my hand
Hate fills in my eyes every time
And soon vengeance will be mine.
--
I look for the power of the gods,
And will be fighting against the odds.
I desperately need to find what I seek
Before I am no longer able to speak.
--
Journey to the places of eternally hate,
I will stand and this will be my fate.
Nobody can stop me from obtaining what I need,
I will destroy them even if they will plead.
--
My heart is cold and impure without remorse,
I will clench the reigns of my evil plans like wolf.
Making my way to the lands of peaceful and free,
To make them suffer the pain and agony as they fall before me.



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